Wednesday, February 23, 2011

How to Snag a Guy

You want a guy? You need focus. Know what you want. Get what you crave. The rules are simple. Follow them and get the guy. Happy hunting, ladies! World, here comes the control freaks

Prowl around your work area, favorite restaurants, and/or coffee shops. If you have a favorite hobby, check out the single men in that venue. For example, if a woman loves reading, she will sit in a corner with her favorite book - not turning a page – in search of the one. Of course, finding one in the midst of the possible male attractions might be difficult so she’d better watch her expectations especially if she forgets which is reality…the book or the bookstore. With careful precision, this woman spots a man with good physique and a good taste in books. She stalks him with her eyes.

Once the man has been spotted, the time has come for some subtle aka hardcore flirting action. It’s imperative that the woman catches the man’s eye. Some may suggest wearing colorfully revealing clothes, slowly insinuating yourself into his group of friends, and talking to him at every chance that you get. Be a more exaggerated version of yourself obnoxious – strike 1. Make sure that you cuddle up to him every chance that you can needy – strike 2. Play with your hair while coyly glancing at him old school – strike 3 – you’re out.

Now, the man is obtainable. Be sweet and demure. However, allow him times to chase you. A guy likes to be able to woo a woman. Be chase-able. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have any control of the situation. Remember, you are the prize. Therefore, show the guy that you find him attractive, but make sure that you allow him to lead the chase as much as possible. Don’t call him, but entice him to call you. Be hard to get and never gotten.

First, stalk the guy.

this is key to getting that restraining order.

Second, bat those big eyelashes.

he won’t think you have Tourrette’s.

Third, chase him.

Nothing screams hot like chasing a guy.

Fourth, be dateable and real.

really? Don’t you think fake is attractive?

Fifth, coyly suggest marriage.

Better yet, just propose.

Last, sleep with him.

Good, he has no reason to marry you. So if he does marry you, he must love you or you’re one heck of a manipulative control freak.

Ladies, this is the way to snag a man. Sleep with the guy, and pull him along. Bat your eyelashes and play coy. Snagging men will become like second nature to you. To all your girlfriends, do not forget to call these men your “boy toys.”

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

GrrrLOVe

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. ~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949

Oh, dear love

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head. ~Terri Guillemets

Monday, February 14, 2011

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/christina_perri/#share




Valentine's Day is a bitter day for those of us who only see ourselves as alone - for those of us who feel that our hearts have been stolen away - for those of us who feel broken or unsatisfied - for those of us who have risked love again and again and still come up short.

Valentine's Day = bittersweet

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dear Insensitive-Self-Focused World,

Honestly, what kind of world do we live in. You walk through a college campus and not one person acknowledges your presence. Oh, yeah, it's good to be alive today - not. It's as though I am completely invisible. No one sees me unless they want to. I want to be seen all the time!
What kind of world is this? Self-focused. Little children do not belong in places of death. Hey, did you here that? You kill a child even by accident and I'm thinking you should probably just go jump off a cliff. Okay, maybe not. You probably already feel like poop from a donkey's butt.
Why is it all right for people to ignore others who are obviously having problems? Guys ignore other guys that are dealing with issues. It's like they have some sort of disease and it's catching. HARDLY! Girls avoid girls who seem to be a little off - a little too emotional - a little too needy. What the F?
Insensitivity.
What happens when you become that person? Will anyone see you? Hope away. Of course, this is all hypothetical so it's not real, right? Well, what happens what hypothetical meets reality?
You'll be alone.
You didn't take a moment to see anyone else.

Have fun being alone.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har, har har, har har

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/awake_my_soul_lyrics_mumford_and_sons.html
All about Mumford And+Sons: http://www.musictory.com/music/Mumford+And+Sons

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Shoe Lover

I have never met a shoe that I did not like. However, I have found shoes that do not like me. A couple months ago, I fell in love with a pair of black ankle boots. They were modern with flair of old fashion buttons. It was shoe love at first trying on. When I put them on, I felt city smart and gorgeous. Not only were they comfortable, they alluringly whispered class and sophistication. In my head, I saw myself in many outfits and places in these boots. My mom saw the love in my eyes and recalled the coming of the holidays and my birthday. My mother bought the boots.

For weeks of months, I thought of these dreamy shoes. I knew that when I would wear them I would be able to walk on water or at least snow. Finally, the shoes were given to me. When I brought them home, my roommates were as excited as me. They cooed over them and I grinned from ear to ear.

To me, these cute boots were exactly perfect for winter wear. The salt wouldn’t ruin them immediately like velvet shoes and my feet wouldn’t be so exposed to the snow. Although they have heels, they are particularly easy in which to walk. My first wearing of these lovely boots went smoothly. I knew that I had a nice pair of shoes going on. Thankfully, I was not particularly vain about these boots and I walked carefully. Never did I make eye contact with any attractive young man.

My second outing in these boots, I was much more confident in my looks and walking. I had a couple mishaps, but no noticeable close calls. My third outing was not so lucky. After attending a dance performance in sweet boots and dark lipstick, my friends and I returned to a small deli. As I confidently clicked across the floor feeling like a fox, my foot hit a wet patch as I made eye contact with a guy. My ankle turned and I scrambled to catch my balance.

To my chagrin, the guy told me to be more careful.

Laughing with embarrassment, I said, “Oh, you saw that?” I kept laughing and spun away trying to rejoin my friends.

The guy responded, “I didn’t see it if you don’t want me to.”

I just laughed and exited into the bathroom. I was sufficiently embarrassed.

More recently, my roommate and I went to a local mini grocery store. Clad in my delectable boots, I felt posh and sophisticated. Somewhere in the frozen dinner aisle, a male worker restocked the freezers. As I walked, I made eye contact with the man and we exchanged pleasant greetings. Just as we finished the greetings, my ankle twisted. Barely did I keep myself from tumbling to the guy’s feet. Finally, I steadied myself. With embarrassed laughter, I croaked out that I was fine and stumbled to my roommate. My ankle was quite sprained, but I managed to walk on it.

My ankle boots have it in for me. If I as much as look at a man, I end up stumbling. I suppose that I am much more susceptible to pride or to attractive men than I thought. My shoes have a mantra of attractive men cometh before fall. My lovely little boots want to keep me humble. Obviously, I have both a pride and vanity issue or maybe a shoe problem.

I’ve found my match in shoes.