Thursday, February 14, 2013

Date Fail #1

Although I'm a cynic to all things romantic, I decided I needed to branch out and do some dating. So I went on a date with Bashful.

Bashful's a good guy. He fits every little girl's checklist. And he'd make any momma very happy indeed.

Bashful took me to the zoo. A great idea except he was so quiet and didn't make any conversation except to mimic the noises the animals were making. Seriously. I don't understand "ooo ooo ahh ah". Is that monkey for "what are your passions in life"?

At dinner, the waitress looked between me and Bashful asking, "Together or separate?" He whispered, "I'll pay."
I really don't think the waitress was going to bit him or anything.

While I ate my swiss and mushroom burger with gusto, Bashful barely picked at his food. "Aren't you hungry?" I asked as I reached for my Coke. He poked a french fry with his fork but didn't look up.
"Not really."
I scrunch my eyebrows together thinking about how hungry I had been from walking throughout the zoo. I felt my eyes widen as a thought hit me. "Don't tell me that you're too nervous to eat!"
He still didn't look at me. I decided not to push the issue.

I pried words from him by asking him tons of questions. I found out that he owns a hedgehog named Mike, believes that traveling is walking from his bedroom to the living room, and that he lives in a glorified shack in his parents' backyard.

Yeah, he sounds like a keeper. I'll just need to erase "long talks on the beach" from my list of must-haves.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Break-up Survival Kit

A dear friend of mine recently went through a break-up. Now, we all know how painful break-ups can be. The loss of this special other person feels like the loss of your dreams for the future. Or sometimes you just can't get over how you were stupid enough not to see his/her faults.

Anyway, it's rough.

So I came up with The Break-up Survival Kit!

Obviously, you need to tailor your kit for your friend. But this one is for my friend. The coolest thing was that it cost me about $7.

When I began this process of kit-building, I asked myself, "What does a person need when they're dealing with a break up?"

And I did better than just a bar of chocolate. I chose Dove Chocolate. Why? Because each wrapper has a positive sentiment written on it. Chocolate and words are good for the soul.

When I was at the dollar store looking for a pretty basket, I discovered this fun coca cola glass and I thought, "Why not? It makes drinking water even fun!" I ended up dumping the Dove chocolates into the glass, wrapping a strip of newspaper around the glass, and then sealing it with a blue pipe cleaner.
But here's the glass!

Right before I was going to check out, my eyes snagged on the Valentine's (I have future plans of making some friends a Valentine package). And I saw these wack-a-Valentine. Yeah, you smack it, shake it, and throw it on the floor. A chemical reaction is supposed to occur inside that blows up a small balloon (I tried one and it needs a lot of shaking and smacking).

Cards are a must in my book so I made this one.
"When life is crappy..."

And here's the inside!
"It's okay to cry."

Sitting on my bed with all these new purchases spread about me, I thought that I should open my junk drawer and look for tape. I also found this which totally had to go into the kit!

I mean who wouldn't want a nerf gun?!

I also found some pipe cleaners which I twisted into flowers. Then I decided that I should finish my kit off with a little list.

And what more, I cajoled two friends into helping me get the kit to the friend dealing with the breakup. Tonight, she'll walk into her room to find this kit waiting for her!

Have you ever made a surprise package for a friend? What was the reason? Do you have a no-fail package that you make for people?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Dilettante of Serial Dating

Dear Dr. Jeanne,

I've done something rather rash. I've signed up for a dating website called okcupid. It's free. I figured, "why not?"

Anyway, I'm troubled because a lot of my friends think I've gone off the deep end. Really, I think I'm looking for amusement and meeting new people. Do you think that's bad?

Also, I'm struggling with self-respect. I always thought that online dating was sketch. But now I'm doing it. Do you think that's okay?

a dilettante in serial dating

My Dear Dilettante,

Don't bother with those who think you've gone off the deep end! Sure, they have wisdom and care deeply for you; however, this is a new chance to grow and try new things. Be wise, but be daring! Why cower in fear?

I want you to be able to respect yourself! Think deeply about what's making you feel this lack of self-respect. Is it simply the fear of what others think? That's normal, but don't let it influence your level of self-respect! You are a strong, surely beautiful, and confidant woman--worth the time of others!

Here's to adventure!
Dr. Jeanne

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Whiskey Sour

"you're afraid of love"

That's what the scarlet-shirted man at the bar said to me. I shrugged and took a swig of my whiskey sour. Who was he to say that anyway?

When his drink was set before him, he grabbed it and moved to the other single woman at the bar slyly propositioning her. She threw her blonde highlighted hair back and laughed drawing her electric blue nails across the ice dew on her glass. She's captivatingly fearless.

I stared down into my drink. Given a couple more of these and I'm sure I could be that flirtatious. "Doubtful. You'd just be a messy drunk."

"Did you say something, Angel?" The big cowboy to my left asked. He'd already downed quite a few drafts, but he seemed no worse for the wear.

I began to shrug; then decided to confess. "See that man in the scarlet shirt, he asked me to sleep with him, and when I refused, he said, 'You're afraid of love.'"

The cowboy stopped mid-gulp and turned to fully look at me. My cheeks flushed warmth as I became spotlighted in his blue-eyed gaze. He looked at my empty glass. "Sweet Pea, can I buy you another drink? It'll take the edge off."

"One whiskey sour is my limit. A ginger ale would be fine, though." I scratched my nose and pushed my straight red hair behind a ear. Cowboy seemed nice, toned, and twice the man that scarlet-shirted man was. "Do you think he was right?"

Cowboy waved the bar tender over and ordered a ginger ale for me. He picked up his draft and took a gulp. "From my experience, love and sex do not equate. You can have great sex and no love for the other person."

It was my turn to take a gulp of my ginger ale. The liquid fizzed down my throat. "Okay, so you're saying that dude equates love and sex? So I shouldn't be feeling offended at his comment."

"Exactly." Cowboy raised his glass to mine, and we clinked glasses. I smiled.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Intimidated Men

someone explain to me why headstrong and confident women are so intimidating to men.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

"good morning"

Why in the world do people wish each other "good morning"? It makes no sense. Honestly, it's not like we don't know it's morning--after all, morning came to us by either a nagging mother or a yelling alarm clock. Not pleasant. So don't you wish me a good morning! Anyway, I know it's morning so let's quit with the obvious.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

If love is so great, why does it hurt so much?