Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wig Modeling
This old guy tells me I'm brain dead.
Me: ?????excuse me????? you are joking, right? RIGHT?
Then, he compliments my hair because it covers my lack of brain activity.
Me: ??????
And now, I'm left at a loss of how to interact with the male species. My stellar responses to this man's insult/compliment only validate his claim. Suh-weet. Maybe I'll take up wig modeling since I need good hair to cover up the deadness of my brain.
Me: ?????excuse me????? you are joking, right? RIGHT?
Then, he compliments my hair because it covers my lack of brain activity.
Me: ??????
And now, I'm left at a loss of how to interact with the male species. My stellar responses to this man's insult/compliment only validate his claim. Suh-weet. Maybe I'll take up wig modeling since I need good hair to cover up the deadness of my brain.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Man Appreciation
I like men, I'll admit. They've got some pretty cool things going for them. Here's a list that I've compiled in honor of some men in my life.
1. Muscles – They’re nice to look at, but I can appreciate them so much better when they’re in action (I like them even better when they’re helping me).
2. A Strong chin – We can only really enjoy this if you actually take the time to shave.
3. Chivalry – I can get the door myself; yet, it’s so much better if you make a point to get it even before I’ve considered the fact that I need to go through that door. This goes for other things, too (“Let me take those heavy bags for you. Oh, they’re not heavy? Let me take them anyway.”)
4. “Wait, that’s your sister?! (you treat her so well that I know that you’d treat your girlfriend even better. Sign me up!)”
5. Intentionality – Choose one girl and pursue her. Don’t go playing with every available heart. Nothing burns like the anger of a woman (or many women).
6. A Man who cries – You get more man points for this because we don’t doubt your manhood. I appreciate a man who can be real.
7. Cleanliness – I love a man who takes care of himself. It shows someone who’s serious about all realms of life. Also, the smell of such a man is real nice. I’ll stand near to him.
1. Muscles – They’re nice to look at, but I can appreciate them so much better when they’re in action (I like them even better when they’re helping me).
2. A Strong chin – We can only really enjoy this if you actually take the time to shave.
3. Chivalry – I can get the door myself; yet, it’s so much better if you make a point to get it even before I’ve considered the fact that I need to go through that door. This goes for other things, too (“Let me take those heavy bags for you. Oh, they’re not heavy? Let me take them anyway.”)
4. “Wait, that’s your sister?! (you treat her so well that I know that you’d treat your girlfriend even better. Sign me up!)”
5. Intentionality – Choose one girl and pursue her. Don’t go playing with every available heart. Nothing burns like the anger of a woman (or many women).
6. A Man who cries – You get more man points for this because we don’t doubt your manhood. I appreciate a man who can be real.
7. Cleanliness – I love a man who takes care of himself. It shows someone who’s serious about all realms of life. Also, the smell of such a man is real nice. I’ll stand near to him.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Teen Romance
Teenagers.
They always think they've found their true love within the first five minutes of setting eyes on a strapping (or should I say scrawny) young man. He walks into the cafeteria abdominal muscles tight and arms bulging. Teenage girl swoons as he walks past. The girl has just fallen in love with his ego.
Beautiful.
Usually, I hate spring. I hate it with all the budding flowers and the cutesy little couples coming out from the wood work. Where did they all come from? The girls staring into the guys' eyes trying to find themselves.
Well, guess what, Honey! You won't be finding any of yourself in his eyes! He'll be to busy looking at his own reflection in your eyes. Nothing for you there.
Teenage love. Puke in my mouth. Bane of my Spring and scorn of my winter. They can just go make goo-goo eyes at each other through sunglasses and they can go slobber on each other at Niagara Falls (I think that equates about how much drool occurs).
Of course, if you are some lame-o and you like that kind of cutesy thing, you should probably enter this giveaway for a free copy of Voyance, a teen fiction novel.
They always think they've found their true love within the first five minutes of setting eyes on a strapping (or should I say scrawny) young man. He walks into the cafeteria abdominal muscles tight and arms bulging. Teenage girl swoons as he walks past. The girl has just fallen in love with his ego.
Beautiful.
Usually, I hate spring. I hate it with all the budding flowers and the cutesy little couples coming out from the wood work. Where did they all come from? The girls staring into the guys' eyes trying to find themselves.
Well, guess what, Honey! You won't be finding any of yourself in his eyes! He'll be to busy looking at his own reflection in your eyes. Nothing for you there.
Teenage love. Puke in my mouth. Bane of my Spring and scorn of my winter. They can just go make goo-goo eyes at each other through sunglasses and they can go slobber on each other at Niagara Falls (I think that equates about how much drool occurs).
Of course, if you are some lame-o and you like that kind of cutesy thing, you should probably enter this giveaway for a free copy of Voyance, a teen fiction novel.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Love is...
I'm a photography nut. I could sit for hours and look at photography of all kinds. Please take a moment and look at this blog post themed LOVE.
Monday, April 11, 2011
A Series of Letters
Enclosed: A note from my niece.
Dear Aunt Jeanne,
I was so excited about the coming Spring weather. Today was our first warm day. I loved it. Like others girls, I chose a skirt from my closet and wore flip flops. Sitting in the greening grass and enjoying the sunshine on my skin made me so happy.
Then, tonight, I went on a walk by myself. I should have known better. Spring nights are for couples. I ran into them everywhere. It seemed as though I couldn't go anywhere without meeting one. I'm sure they didn't really notice me, but I sure saw them.
Aunt Jeanne, singleness sucks.
.....
Dearest Niece,
I hope you still find Spring delightful. I know that I spent the day preparing my garden for the blooming season. One of my daffodils burst its little bright head up. You know, how I love gardening.
Anyways, dear heart, I want to remind you that singleness can be wonderful because it means that many opportunities are open to you. It also means you can flirt with anyone you so desire. Spring nights alone can be just as satisfying as with a significant other. Anyways, I'm sure you know all of this already.
Your loving aunt,
Dr. Jeanne
Dear Aunt Jeanne,
I was so excited about the coming Spring weather. Today was our first warm day. I loved it. Like others girls, I chose a skirt from my closet and wore flip flops. Sitting in the greening grass and enjoying the sunshine on my skin made me so happy.
Then, tonight, I went on a walk by myself. I should have known better. Spring nights are for couples. I ran into them everywhere. It seemed as though I couldn't go anywhere without meeting one. I'm sure they didn't really notice me, but I sure saw them.
Aunt Jeanne, singleness sucks.
.....
Dearest Niece,
I hope you still find Spring delightful. I know that I spent the day preparing my garden for the blooming season. One of my daffodils burst its little bright head up. You know, how I love gardening.
Anyways, dear heart, I want to remind you that singleness can be wonderful because it means that many opportunities are open to you. It also means you can flirt with anyone you so desire. Spring nights alone can be just as satisfying as with a significant other. Anyways, I'm sure you know all of this already.
Your loving aunt,
Dr. Jeanne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)